It probably started when BBC America began screening the show. As we all know, US politicians have a real problem with that whole fact / fiction thing. Dick Cheney clearly believes that 24 is a documentary, Reagan took national security tips from Star Wars, and of course, the story of the little Jewish carpenter boy with the big ideas, the magic tricks and the go-getter attitude remains a firm favourite up on the hill.

So the notion that there is a secret plot against Doctor Who is really not so fantastical. As conspiracy theories go, it’s not nearly as batshit as, “Obama wasn’t born here”, “death panels” or, “9/11 was an inside job”. Here’s the theory: the folks on the hill saw Doctor Who, and they saw Science-Fact, not Science-Fiction. They note his Anglocentrism and the fact that he’s a Doctor who works for free (both of which point conclusively to his Socialism) and they whip themselves into a frenzy. What would happen if the Doctor landed in the US today? Well, in no time at all (probably around 40 minutes) he would identify Glenn Beck as King Of The Daleks and destroy his ass. Something had to be done.

Obviously, Washington politicos cannot stop the Doctor, but they can try to confuse him as to which time period he finds himself in. Washington is clearly up to something. Why do so many right-wingers talk like they’re living in the Middle Ages? Why do libertarians call for an economic system that would drag us back into feudalism? Seriously, paying medical bills with chickens?

And why do they dress like they’re living in the 50’s? Those suits, Jesus. Look at poor Luke Russert; when we first saw him, he looked like a college kid. Now he has a comb-over like Pat Buchanan. It’s frightening. Is there some rule that to work on the hill you must look like a geriatric going to a grandchild’s wedding? Does exposure to the Senate lead to lumbago? Does a Capitol Hill press pass come with a piss-bag?

And those studio-based journos… why do they dress like they’re really looking forward to the new Robert Palmer tape? In US news media, it’s always 1986. Reagan Reagan Reagan, atheists are freaks, Rachel Maddow made-up like an albino Grace Jones (against her will, I suspect), it’s bizarre. It’s the second decade of the 21st century, and healthcare-for-all is controversial?

The only explaination is that they’re waiting for the little blue box to show up. And when it does, the Doctor will emerge and say, “hmm, 1950’s? 1980’s? The 1830’s? The Crusades? The Bronze Age? I can’t tell. There must be something wrong with the space-time continuum… I better take off and investigate”. The ONLY explaination.

And yes, this IS just an excuse to post shitloads of Karen Gillan pictures. I make no apology.